How to French Kiss, But Not That Way!

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We are not talking about THAT French kiss (that is called une pelle – literally, a shovel. The verb to French kiss is rouler une pelle [to wrap / roll a shovel, Mmm lovely?]- you can put that image together yourself), no... we’re going to talk about the art or science of la bise (kiss).

When meeting someone in France, "faire la bise" is commonplace, but for those who are not familiar with these introductory cheek kisses, the act can be daunting, embarrassing, confusing and may make you feel a little mal à l’aise (uncomfortable).

It’s nothing cheeky — it’s just a way to say bonjour!

If you are going to France to view property looking for a holiday home to buy, don't kiss every agent you meet, you have to get to know the person a bit first really!

Number of kisses to give. Results as of February 5, 2015. Image courtesy of Combien de bises?

Going on a Property Viewing trip soon?

If you have never been to France yet, you should definitely become aware of this custom or you could get yourself in deep water havning just got off the ferry. It goes further than a simple hello and a handshake (although, that can happen, too).

Where you are in France can determine just how many times you kiss – it can be anywhere between 2 and 5. How can you know for sure? The best and safest way is just to go along with whatever the French person is doing.

Looking at the statistics on the survey above from the website 'Combien de bises' this will give you a general idea of how many bises (kisses) you can expect to give.

Get used to pressing your cheek against the other person’s cheek and kissing the air, there are worse things in life to have to endure. It might sound weird, but there are some 'generally accepted' guidelines you can follow to make this transition a little easier. Just like with French grammar, though as with grammer, there to be exceptions.

The act itself is simple, you press your cheek against the other person’s cheek and kiss the air. Puis, vous changez de côté (then you change sides) – pull your head back slightly (just enough not to brush your noses or lips together and avoid clattering of specticles!) and do the same thing with the other cheek.

Image courtesy of HardWare Forum

But which cheek to start with?

After all you have a choice of two, yes 2, thank you!

It can go a little further than this, too – which cheek do you start with?

I always lean to the left and press my right cheek first. Some people insist on starting with another cheek. I’ve never run into a problem, but maybe that is becasue I am nice to kiss!

So that’s how you do it – how about who you do it with?

This mostly depends on your relation with the person and their gender. It is common to faire la bise with people you know, and even their friends. That means when you go to a French party, be prepared to make a lot of kissy sounds. This surprised me at first; I was used to just giving a communal hello and considering it finished.

When viewing property for sale in France with us, just because you hear “bonjour!” doesn’t mean it is time to stick your cheek out. You’ll be greeted with a nice hello every time you go into the bakery for example. A simple bonjour back is sufficient.

We are not going to faire la bise to a new client either but if you buy a house in France from us then who knows what you will get!.

To clarify - The kissing activity is less common in the professional world where the handshake still rules firm.

Female friends to other female friends always font la bise. Males and females will almost always do the kisses, but if the woman holds her hand out, she wants a handshake, not the kiss so don't push it.

Male and male is a little different. Most guys will just shake hands, but some guys, especially in the south in my experience, will kiss a close friend or family member’s cheek while wrapping their arm around the other person’s back. And of course, everything in this paragraph depends on the person, so nothing is set in stone. Even if the local plumber has finally shown up and fixed your non-flushing loo it may be best to not kiss him and possible avoid shaking his hand, just a polite nod and pay his facture / invoice on time would be fine!

La bise took me a while to get used to and even 'the French' get it wrong, there are really no hard and fast rules apart from you don't do it 'hard and fast'!

The act of La bise is also carrying over into technology in the form of text messages and emails. When writing a friend, it is pretty accepted to end the message with bise or bisous (both meaning kiss).

So there it is a brief summary of la bise. Just remember, when meeting a French person: pucker up!

How about you? Do you have any interesting bise stories to share? Did you embarrass yourself? Any etiquette tips to add? If you have a Cle France Login write them below in the comments section if you don't have a Cle France Login, why not! go to the top of the screen and 'set up a Cle France account'!

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Bisous, lecteurs (kisses, readers).