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We find France’s frivolous side at its seven weirdest festivals

Tragic news: the World Pig Squealing Championships are no more. At the event, in Trie-sur-Baïse, in the Hautes-Pyrénées, competitors were called on to imitate the noises made by pigs at various stages of their lives, right up to slaughter. There’s speculation that the domination of many-times world champ Noël Jamet was discouraging entrants!

France still retains a decent number of other fêtes of heartening eccentricity, however, confirming, against much available evidence, that the French do have a frolicsome sense of fun.

Bed racing, Brittany
At the Fête de l’Insolite (“Festival of the Unlikely”), in Mahalon, beds, stripped down to their essentials, roar along a circuit around the village church. Teams of three — two pushing, one on board — compete to challenge the world record of 1 min 16 sec. The event also includes a race of delivery tricycles; egg-, beret- and pancake-throwing; 
and a contest involving the long-distance spitting of apricot stones. “The fête is intended to be humorous,” says Bernard Le Gall, the mayor, helpfully.
July 14, free; mahalon.fr

Shoe tossing, Aquitaine
For one day in August, the narrow streets of Salies-de-Béarn are devoted to the Hurling of the Espadrille, the rope-soled sandal of these parts. One euro gets you three goes — with espadrilles provided. The record is 108ft 8in, a heck of a distance for a sandal to travel.
August 15, free; piperadere-salies.blogspot.fr

Lying, Gascony
The Gascons of Moncrabeau have been at it for centuries, meeting to exchange gossip and, when real gossip ran out, invent some more. In 1972, they formalised this tradition into the Festival International de Menteries (“lies”). Texts are sent in and Academy members choose eight to be delivered — standing on the allegedly genuine 18th-century Stone of Truth. Last year, one man told of raising domestic ticks for curative uses. You can also visit the birthplace of Fujiyo Lapuce, IT consultant to Louis XIV.
August 3, £4; academiedesmenteurs.fr

Garlic peeling, Midi-Pyrénées
There’s a Laotian lady in Beaumont de Lomagne who can peel 68lb of garlic in 30 minutes. She’s the woman to beat at the 2014 Fête de l’Ail Blanc (“white garlic”). The festival also features maths-inspired games: Pierre de Fermat, of last theorem fame, was born here.
July 20, £1.60; club.quomodo.com/ fetedel-ail

Square boules, Côte d’Azur
How do you play boules on streets so steep that they might roll right into the Mediterranean? The answer: play with square boules. The good people of medieval Cagnes-sur-Mer, high on the hill, hit on the solution 35 years ago. Now the world beats a path to the Championnat du Monde de Boules Carrées. “There is skill involved, but it’s mainly luck,” says Pascal Zaccure, president of the organising outfit. Anyone can join in, and anyone does: it’s one of the Côte’s great social levellers.
August 16 and 17, £5.75; cagnes-tourisme.com, cercleamis.cagnes.free.fr

Trailer lifting, Basque Country
Imagine the Highland games without kilts, whisky and sporrans, but with berets, wine and highly impressive bellies. That’s about the size of the Festival de la Force Basque, in St Palais. Look out for burly fellows lifting a trailer and rotating it on its axis (two turns is OK, but real champs manage five), lifting 220lb bales high into the sky on a pulley — and being rocketed skywards themselves when the bales fall to earth — and straining like hell at the keynote tug-of-war contest.
August 17, £12.50 (under-12s free); saintpalais-tourisme.com

Potato mash-up, Nord-Pas-de-Calais
“It’s essentially nuts,” says Didier Roussel, the deputy mayor of Esquelbecq, where they’ve been tipping unfortunates into pools filled with mash for 18 years. Patate Feest is abundantly potato-themed, with processions and spud-inspired games. One involves picking up a single potato with a building-site crane. Relays and tugs-of-war around that mashed-potato pool invariably ensure participating youths get thoroughly lathered.
August 31, free; esquelbecq.com

This article originally appeared in The Sunday Times 'Drive' section Sunday 8th June 2014.

Blog submitted by: David at The French Property Network - Cle France.