Clé France

Here is an edited down version of a property hunter on the Cle France website today sending us houses she wants to view by clicking on our "Make an Enquiry" tab beneath the property listing main image, it seems we have a lot of nice houses for sale in France.

Want this one!

Or this one?

Look at this one, wow!!!

Or this! Gorgeous garden!

This! Prices are euros, not pounds.... CRAZY! when can we visit???

This!!! Sorry, this'll be the last!

So many lovely properties in my price range!

Having a good private joke (especially an in-joke) is a great way to open the door to a new culture and break the ice. For many learners of a foreign language humour is not always the easiest thing to understand, and it can be a rather large cultural hurdle.

In my experience, I found it difficult to capter des blagues françaises (get French jokes), until I heard one that played into how the French learned English.

Recently I was in France on business with Ben Amrany of FC Exchange, we were seeking out new Cle France agents and meeting old friends at the same time. Talking about the buying process and how to sell French Houses to non-French speaking clients can be a trial so from time to time I tried a little humour to lighten the load.

At one point I was introduced to a member of the team in a local French estate agents office, we shall call him Ernest, he was in his 30s and I was told he was the member of staff learning English but had only just started, so I said "was he attending a CP class cour preparatoire at the local school?" I then went on to mime trying to get in and out of the small chairs they had in the lobby for children to sit on whilst waiting for Mum and Dad who were viewing property for sale.

Everyone thought it was funny except Ernest who probably thought I was saying he had a mental age of a 6 year old rather than just making light of learning English as a beginner!

So I brought out the default blague “Where is Brian?” to rescue the situation!

Photo by Elliott Brown on Flickr.

La blague (the joke) comes from the famous comedian, Gad Elmaleh, and the joke plays on the teaching method used in French schools for learning English throughout the 1980s and into the 1990s.

La blague from his sketch (routine) goes like this:

En Francais...

Parce que j’ai quelques notions d’anglais quand même, j’ai appris l’anglais comme vous à l’école quand on était petit.

On a tous eu les même cours débiles !

Avec cette fameuse question existentielle à laquelle il fallait trouver absolument une réponse: “Where is Brian?”

Il vous a traumatisé aussi ce Brian…

On savait pas qui c’était ce Brian, on s’en foutait, mais il fallait le localiser dans la maison pour apprendre l’anglais, c’était ça.

Il fallait trouver les gens de la famille Brian pour apprendre l’anglais, qu’est-ce qui s’passe ?

“Where is Brian?” et toi comme un idiot tu répondais sagement : “Brian is in the kitchen”…

In English...

Because I know a little English too, I learned English in school when I was little like all of you.

We all had the same dumb class!

With that famous existential question that you just had to find an answer to: “Where is Brian?”

Brian traumatized all of you as well…

You didn’t know who Brian was, you didn’t care, but you had to find out where he was in the house in order to learn English, that was it.

You had to find the members of Brian’s family in order to learn English, and what happened?

“Where is Brian?” and like an idiot you calmly responded: “Brian is in the kitchen”…

Insert laughter here...

I know it is not that funny on paper but the result of his wildly successful standup show is now a common joke among French people. “Where is Brian?” leads almost immediately to the response, “Brian is in the kitchen.”

If you can learn this simple blague, tes amis français (your French friends) will be surprised that you know la blague and feel more comfortable sharing French culture with you.

Next time you meet with tes amis français, try askng them:

“Where is Brian?”

Blog submitted by: David at The French Property Network - Cle France.

This blog was originally posted on The French Language Blog pages.

Hello David, I think I have the right gentleman ?

I emailed you this morning to seek help and advice regarding insurance. You put me in touch so promptly with one of your partners which is really appreciated I was so impressed. (Preferred Partner is Allianz Insurance).

I am due to move to Le Mans next week and unfortunately the English agent who i am dealing with has let me down badly and has refused to meet his obligations as he is too busy with other clients! I have really been left in the lurch so doing things myself.

Your a life saver.

very very kind regards, Steve Dummett.

Our preferred partner for all kinds of insurance, Ceri at Allianz was on the case within minutes! 

Well what can we say? we do try to help all our clients in many ways, even when we cannot find them the right house. Sometimes a client finds the right house with another agency, it hurts, but we don't sulk! we continue to make our best efforts in ensuring the client has us on-hand for any problems that may occur.

If only Steve had bought with Cle France he would not be 'left in the lurch' by us!

Learning a little French etiquette can go a long ay to help you intergrate when living in France or indeed just when visiting the many regions of France.

You never know if your next viewing trip with us could turn into a glass clincking success! so if you do make an offer on a French property for sale and the offer is accepted then how would you 'toast' the occaision? 

Or you are out with some friends about to take your first sip and everyone raises their glasses to toast...

Photo by Omar G! on Flickr.

Qu’est-ce que tu fais en-suite ? (What do you do next?)

En France, you have to regarder dans les yeux (look in the eyes) of the person you’re clincking glasses with. Ce qui est important (what’s important) is bearing in mind that by NOT remembering to regarder dans les yeux is seen as rude or simply une maladresse (a faux pas).

I did not know all this when I first visited France, the first time I went out with des amis français (some French friends) is un bon exemple (a good example); after we found a good place to sit and had placed our orders, we all went to lever nos verres (raise our glasses)....

We toasted and then I took a drink. Much to my surprise, mes amis français (my French friends) were still looking at me after I had finished swallowing. One of my friends then said to me:

“Non, il faut que tu me regardes dans les yeux !” (No, you have to look at me in the eyes!)

Confused, I tried again, but my eyes darted away before our glasses met and on m’a dit (I was told).

“Non, dans mes yeux !” (No, in my eyes!)

I slowly raised my glass and went in again. This time I made sure to keep un contact visuel (eye contact). After a very intense few seconds it was over and shouts of “santé” (cheers) were passed around.

I had successfully learned how to toast in French!

Blog submitted by: Alex at The French Property Network - Cle France.

This blog was originally posted on The French Language Blog pages.

Get Yourself A Valentine with our 'Pick-up Lines'

Well, it’s that time of the year. You either have a Valentine, want one, or completely dislike the holiday. No matter your feelings, love is something that needs to be experienced, so if you’re single and ready to mingle and want to try meeting some new people, why not do it in French? After all, it is la langue d’amour (the language of love).

Vous avez du mal à draguer (Are you bad at hitting on people)? Voici la formule magique pour choper des mecs et des meufs en un rien de temps (Here’s the magic formula for picking up men/women in no time)!

Check out the video below of pick up lines in French. Laissez ces séducteurs/séductrices vous guider à votre Valentin(e) (Allow these Casanovas and Enchantresses guide you to your Valentine). C’est tout ce qu’il vous faut (it’s all you need)! You can turn on the subtitles and toggle between French and English to understand what’s being said.

Click here to view the embedded video. 

Voici les phrases – mémorisez-les et tentez votre chance! (Here are the lines – memorise them and try your luck!)

Hé, j’ai pas déjà vu ta photo quelque part? Ah oui, c’était dans le dictionnaire juste en dessous de sexy!

Hey, haven’t I already seen your picture somewhere? Oh, yeah! It was in the dictionary just under the word “sexy!”

J’aime mon café comme j’aime mes femmes…j’aime pas le café.

I like my coffee like I like my women…I don’t like coffee.

Surtout tu m’embrasses si je me trompe – les dinosaures existent encore, c’est vrai?

Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, don’t they?

Est-ce que tu crois à l’amour au premier regard ou est-ce que je dois repasser?

Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I have to walk by again?

Tu aurais pas un pansement? Je me suis égratigné le genoux en tombant amoureuse de toi.

Do you have a band-aid? I scraped my knee falling in love with you.

Tu n’as pas eu mal quand tu es tombé du ciel?

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?

Ton père est un voleur? Parce qu’il a volé les étoiles du ciel pour les mettre dans tes yeux.

Is your father a thief? Because he stole the stars from the sky to put them in your eyes.

Excuse-moi, est-ce que tu embrasses les inconnus? Non? Donc, je me présente.

Excuse me, do you kiss strangers? No? Allow me to introduce myself.

Est-ce que je peux prendre une photo de toi pour montrer ce que je veux ce Noël au Père Noël ?

Can I take a picture of you to show Santa Claus what I want for Christmas?

Si t’aimer est un crime je plaide coupable.

If loving you is a crime, I plead guilty.

Ça fait quoi d’être la fille la plus belle dans la pièce?

What’s it like being the prettiest girl in the room?

Tu es tellement jolie que j’ai oublié ma phrase de drague.

You’re so pretty I forgot my pick up line!

Si tu étais un hamburger, tu serais le McNifique.

If you were a hamburger, you would be the McNificient.

La mer est faite pour nager, le vent pour souffler, et moi pour t’aimer.

The sea is made for swimming, the wind for blowing, and me for loving you.

Les roses sont rouges,

Les violettes sont bleues,

J’ai un flingue

Viens dans le camion!

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

I have a gun,

Get in the truck!

Si je te disais que tu as un beau corps, tu le tiendrais contre moi?

If I told you you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?

Tu as un(e) copin(e)?

Oui.

Ça va, je suis pas un mec (une fille) jaloux(se).

Do you have a girlfriend?

Yes.

That’s ok, I’m not a jealous girl.

On se connait? Parce que tu ressembles à ma future petite-copine.

Do we know each other? Because you look like my future girlfriend.

Si tu continues à passer autant de temps dans mon esprit, je devrais demander un loyer.

If you keep spending so much time on my mind, I should ask for the rent.

Je peux te suivre jusqu’à ta maison? Mes parents m’ont toujours dit de suivre mes rêves.

Can I follow you home? My parents always told me to follow my dreams.

Entre nous, tu sais ce qui n’a qu’un œil, deux pouces, et qui baise comme un dieu?

Between us, do you know what has one eye, two thumbs, and makes love like a god?

Ton nom de famille, c’est pas Google? Parce que je trouve tout ce que je cherche avec toi.

Is your last name Google? Because I find everything I’m looking for with you.

Ton père c’est un terroriste? Parce que toi, c’est une bombe !

Is your father a terrorist? Because you’re the bomb!

Le miel de tes baisers est le seul qui ne me fasse pas grossir.

The honey from your kisses is the only one to not make me fat.

Tu as un plan? Parce que je me suis perdu dans tes yeux.

Do you have a map? Because I got lost in your eyes.

À part être sexy, tu fais quoi dans la vie?

Besides being sexy, what do you do for a living?

Tu es un appareil photo? Parce que je souris à chaque fois que je te vois.

Are you a camera? Because I smile every time I see you.

Ton père travaille à Nintendo si j’en crois ton corps de DS [this is pronounced like the French word for goddess, déesse, so this pick-up line works only in French], non?

Your father has to work at Nintendo if I’m to believe your goddess body.

Je t’envoie des wagons de baisers sur des rails de tendresse.

I’m sending you kisses on the cars of tenderness tracks.

On devrait t’arrêter pour excès de beauté sur la voie publique.

You should be arrested for too much beauty in public.

Puis-je t’appeler Cracotte? Parce que je te trouve trop craquante.

Can I call you cracker? Because I think you’re just too irresistible.

Tu es célibataire. Je suis célibataire. Coïncidence? Je ne crois pas.

You’re single. I’m single. Coincidence? I don’t think so.

Tu veux qu’on y aille?

Non, j’ai un copain.

J’ai un poisson rouge.

Quoi?

Je m’excuse, je croyais qu’on parlait des choses pas importantes.

You wanna get out of here?

No, I have a boyfriend.

I have a goldfish.

What?

Sorry, I thought we were talking about unimportant matters.

Ton corps est 70% d’eau, et moi j’ai soif.

Your body is 70% water, and I’m thirsty.

Je viens juste de remarquer que vous ressemblez beaucoup à mon futur petit ami.

I only just realized that you look like my future boyfriend.

Si le verbe aimer n’existait pas, je l’aurais inventé en te voyant.

If the verb “to love” didn’t exist, I would have invented it in seeing you.

Je sais ce que tu penses, mais tu te trompes. Tu as une chance avec moi. 

I know what you’re thinking, but you’re wrong. You do have a chance with me.

Ton père il vend pas des fusils? Parce que tu es trop canon.

Does your father sell guns? Because you’re a bombshell.

Je peux prendre une photo de toi pour prouver à mes amis que les anges existent?

Excuse me, can I take a picture of you? It’s just to prove to my friends that angels exist.

Tu es religieuse? Parce que tu es la réponse à mes prières.

Are you religious? Because you are the answer to all my prayers.

Tu peux tomber d’un arbre, tu peux tomber d’un cheval, mais la meilleur façon de tomber, c’est de tomber amoureux de moi.

You can fall from a tree, you can fall from a horse, but the best way to fall is to fall in love with me.

C’est vrai, tu aimes bien mon prénom? Attends d’entendre mon numéro.

Oh yeah, you like my name? Wait till you hear my number.

Mes potes viennent de me parier 20 euros que je pourrais pas aborder la plus jolie fille de la salle. Ça te dit qu’ on utilise leur argent pour se payer un quoi boire?

So, my friends just bet me 20 euros that I couldn’t approach the prettiest girl in the room. What do you say you and I spend their money to buy ourselves some drinks?

Un TRÈS grand merci à Juliette, Alix, Noreen, Yoann, Ségo, Clémence, Samia, Rania, Chloé, Alban, Jonas, David, Ahmed, Karine, Tito, Elena, Cyril, Anthony, Marc, Guillaume, Laora, Steffie, Jeremy, Ronan, Marion, Eva, and Ilona. Special thanks to Anaïs, Natacha, and Jeremy.

Blog submitted by: Alex at The French Property Network - Cle France.

This blog was originally posted on The French Language Blog pages.